Slugga

MICHEAL JACKSON AS YOU AVATAR SO WE KNO U A RAPIST,
YOU JUS ENTERED DA WRATH OF A DEMON AND IT AINT NO ESCAPIN/
->>I liked this first line but the second line couldve been a lot better with the setup

I WOULD KILL YA WIT A GUN BUT WOULD RETHER DO IT LIKE JASON,
CHOP YA HANDS TO GET DAT BRACLET/
->>second line is crazy short...put this first line as the second line of the first bar and it would be hot

SHOULD CHANGE DA NAME TO MORTAL KOMBAT CAUSE ALWAY DELIVER FATALITIES,
SEE YOU BRUNG DA BAD SIDE OUT OF ME/
->>good first line wack second line

SEE DAWG IM A RARE BREED AND I GOT EVERYONE AFTER ME,
HIDE YA BODY IN MY DRIVE WAY SO YOU CAN REALLY BE IN DA STREETZ/
->>good punch i thought

AND ALL DAT TALKIN HARD AINT SCARING ME MAN,
SEE IM HARD TO KILL SO DEATH DONT WORRY ME MAN/
->>filler

EVERYONE KNOW WHO DA REAL MAIN ATTRACTION,
CAUSE WHEN YOU HIT DA STAGE EVERYONE STARTS LAUGHIN
->>ok closer...so-so



Da Prodigy

Cranniums are cracked when da punchline iz thrown/
Its like cement stones are beein droped on ya dome/
->>generic kinda weak opener

when da bat come out u run "home"/
when da goin gets tough u get gone..
->>home and gone dont rhyme unless you say it like GO-ne

Loadin up nines an huggin da trigga/
Lettin full blast nine lines put holes in ya slippas/
->>dont talk about guns in text ever

Hot lines give niggas uh third degree burn/
ya mom said dont play wit fire but u'll never learn/
->>this was the first creative thing i saw and it was pretty cool

Hot heat scorchin makin da fake men turn ta cowards/
theres enough light from da heat ta run cars dats solar powered/
->>ehh...second line couldve been better

thermometer stats goin straight threw da roof/
enough flame 2 take u and uh whole army troop/
->>it was ok

slugga aint ready 4 war cuz i drop lyrical bombs/
da blast hit ya stomache an blow out ya spine from behind
->>doesnt rhyme AT ALL


overall i think this was real close...slugger youve got potential to be great but you kill it with weak second lines...use your head and think the whole battle out as good as you do your setup lines and youll be fire. Prodigy you gotta get off the thug tip in text...its been doen to death and nobody is even trying to read it anymore. Get creative and just focus on punches that are specific to him...like stuff you couldnt use on someone else. I saw what you were doing with the bat and the home thing but it just didnt connect. I have to give it to Slugga by a nose. Youll both get better as you elevate (obviously). Prodigy also you have GOT to stop freeposting or youre gonna get banned for sure. Dont post a link until after you vote. Its in the rules stickeyed on the top of frontlines.

v/Slugga


\/hit mine up honestly\/

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