ok, first of all your structure was messed up dawg, next time try pressin enter instead of just typin your shit out in a paragraph form. you had some decent punches, the HIV line is kinda played, and u seemed to lose direction from you topic midway through the verse, but besides that it was fairly decent, i know you didnt ask for a scaled opinion but i'd give it a 7/10.

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"Lord forgive me, but he tried to kill me, somebody out there gotta feel me."
-Young Buck