Thread: *Smile*
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Old 07-20-04, 12:42 AM   #20
The Reaper
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Hah, I guess it's because I'm white and I live in a predominately white area that I don't really feel it. I thought it could've been a lot better. The rhymes and lines seemed kinda childish.

"Mr. Mandela, Ms. Parks both overcame the hate in they lives~
pain, anger and other things pile up in my brain's archives~"

I saw what you were going for here, but it still seemed like a sacrificial rhyme. Write some more, elevate some, and I think you'll be good.
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