Yo gimme some feedback,

OrientalDun
Yeah I'm new and just marinatining like a steak
I don't fake like an actor I stay fresh like a COKE
I like to joke around from Jersey but now in VA
Every day just writing some raps I'm chilling like a frezzer
Don't play checkers like and old gezzer
I rhyme cause its in my blood I stay cold like a BUDWISER
Like a geyser I just let out my steam in my sprays
I'm crispy like a bag of LAYS
I eat a lot of rice I need some rapping advice
I just trying to show and prove I could rhyme
I'm sometimes slipping but I ain't tripping time
Goes by fast like a corvette my spits are straight phat
In the past there were the best rap records around, drat
Like the cicadas there Barley anymore great rappers
Just as PC data slips away cause some hackers
All these fakes on T.V. are slackers
They ain't real how they get a deal?
I wish Jay-Z wasn't retiring the head CEOS should be firing chingy
I dish crazy rhymes like a waiter I kill like the TERMINATOR


Just tell me If its okay or whatever