alrite.. the first guy had no structure, some creative ideas, but fuckall structure.. i wasnt feelin the verse very much at all.. you started off with a 2 line bar rhyme scheme, but then u fell off really badly and started riting lines that were all over the place..

i dont think i really need to go through the second verse, it wasnt anythin amazin either, but it beat the shit outta the first one.. thats why its gettin this vote...

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RIP jono, peace out bboy.
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