Hmm... Deadly... The one thing that you really need to work on... Is Played out, and corney as fuck lines... Ok flow and structure... Punches were also ok, could have hit harder... Valor, your stucture could use some clean up... But your punches also hit harder and you had better personals...

V/Valor

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=137958
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Hit this up