helpless kids screamin and jus imagin seein dis shit happen an in instant n then goin home n remmberin dis shit
dreamin at nite of ppl screamin fitin n cryin throwin n screamin wit insults and fists flyin
chirstmas eve who woulda thought ligour struck da mind and then 2 parents fought,
a 5 year old wit no idea wats goin down thought daddy loved mommy y is she layin on the ground
cryin tears pourin from the eyes of a broken mother she wont say it but u no she wants another
shes tired of his shit n wants to end it but she wont say cus the kids will not understand it
she crys eyes black cops cum he lies says we never get into fites trys to hide and turns off da lites
we go home theres a knot on her hed she kissed my hed n tells me to go to bed
the lights from the christmas tree wont let me sleep i get up for a sec n i hear da fone ring
its him do i anwer with love or hate its like the love for him stayed there but it came late
i dont feel da shit no more n if i saw him in life i wud not shake his hand or give em a hug where was he in my life?
5 years old run down aprtment dont get shit no fone callls jus wen he needs sumthin or has to baby sit
he says sry i dont wana hear it i hate da man i wont fear it
i no my feelins n i no wats deep down inside me n wen he thinks hes stong he can fight me
mentally he tried to brake me down but im still standin up str8 n i dont care that hes not around
turned 6 party there was no show sed hes tire got flat he cudnt go
7 party he wasnt there sed he was dowtown workin late n his boss dint care
8 n 9 party both there was no dad came by a year later n sed happy birthday ur now 10
the next 5 years was the worst in my life he went to a bar n met his future wife
they have kids n were in the past all my good memories went by fast
there was bout 1 and 2 of them does he think of me? if so he doesnt cum to c me
does he sit back at nite n think shud i call? prolly not cus i havent talked to him since 2 years from fall
does he look the same i cudnt answer the question at first i was stressin
i believed him once but i leanred my lesson believin him is like askin for depression
15 years a life no one will get untill i say this shit n let ppl get the affect n soak in the after affect n tell themm how evry nite i wud sweat cus i was afraid to let my mom n dad sleep cus i wud hear swings i hate u n ill divorce yo ass u wana bet
n guess she wont the bet cus 1 year lata there was no parents it was one parent if i won a game i cudnt share it
i told 1 person n i dint evn tell the man of the relationship cus he wansnt evn there to tell shit to
he was helpin his otha kids now i aint jelous but he wud say wed b friends id b one of the fellas
but i dont want a friend i want a father i dont even try to tell him shit cus y shud i bother?
but i cant b botherd cus evn he wasnt fathered he had no money he one dollered it
but thats to reason to leave me hangin n questionin his love he must think that wen im wit him i have fun
is it fun naw if it ws fun wud i b ritin shit on the notepad of my computer complain that i got no dad?
fuck pl jus see me as a normal kinda guy but u no at funerals i dont eva cry
wen a gurl fucks me over i dont cry but i think of havin no father n a tear falls from my eyes,
tells u sumthin dont it? wish i cud jus get da memories out but i cant jus disown it
i gota keep them to remind me of da hard times n sumtimes i wish i dint go throght those times so in othas ppl eyes they may see me as jus one of the guys
but wat they dont realize if iv ben thorugh harder shit then ne of those guys
worst part about evrythin i have his name so wen they ask me i say it n my mind trigas the thought of him n it gets hard sumtimes to say i have his name
n den he wants to make it seem liek he prud of it n he asks me wat i think i wud say i dont give a shit
y dont u ask ur wife u wanted to spoon her i swear to god i hate bein a junior
cant wait till im the rite age to legalize my new name that wud put him in a state of rage but at least they wont compare me to him n theyll relaize were not the same
n then ill b satisifed cus ill no that im different n far from eachother n i dont want him to do wat he did to me to my brother
wen he dies ill get a call sayin hes gone n i wont shed 1 tear ill stand up on the pedatsal n look at his dead body n scream "U WERE NEVER THERE!"