|
New to RB
From: Somewhere over the rainbow... |
|
IP:
Well, honeslty this wasn't my all time favorite. I think the story line itself was good...just not the way you came about presenting. See, whn you are writing you need to see your thoughts and words as a movie. Movie has scheme and feeling from the surroundings...you need to get more descriptive in poems to hav the same affect. So, I just thnk you need mor description....otherwise all in all its looking alright...
|