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Old 08-02-04, 10:56 AM   #17
SONIC
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FLOW: IT WAS A PRETTY DRAMATIC PIECE.. I LIKED THE ACTION ANDF ALSO THE PHONE CALL. I LIKED THE VERY BEGINNING ALSO WHERE YOU DESCIBED YOUR SURROUNDINGS.. BUT SOME MISTAKE.. SINCE WHEN DO SNIPERS USE GLOCKS OR PISTOLS.. A HIGH POWER, LONG DISTANCE ASSAULT RIFLE WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE FOR A SNIPER, AND WHEN YOU SAID PISTOL, HONESTLY, THAT THREW ME OFF OF THE WHOLE STORY. IT WASN'T REALISTIC ANYMORE..

MANIPULATION.. VERY GOOD DESCTRPTION OF WHAT'S GOING ON.. I LIKED THE FACT THAT I WAS IN THIS GUYS HEAD AND WAS ALMOST STANDING NEXTY TO HIM.. I LIKE HOW HE JUST PICKED HIS VICTIM OFF, AND CALMLY WALKED DOWN THE STAIRS.. WHAT SAVED YOU, IS THE MISTAKE THAT FLOW MADE.. YOU ATLEAST MENSIONED A SCOPE, AND RIFLE.. ALSO THE DESCIPTION WAS IN A LOT OF WAYS BETTER.. SO MY VOTE GOES TO




MANIPULATION.. THIS WAS A LONG BATTLE TO READ AND REPLY TO, CAN YOU PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOR WITH AN HONEST VOTE IN MY BATTLE? THANK U..
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=138974