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When i read the first bar...i thought Linkin Park- Crawling!..any one agree..there defiently some lyrics in here that are rather "similar" not saying its been bitting coz he hasnt...but damn when u actually sing these words to crawling u can straight away notice it, anyway...I assume your pretty much in your "learning process" of writing songs..the rhyme scheme is ok but wasnt impressive..opens mics are supposed to be emotional pieces keeping me glued to the screen..unfortunatly this did not!..its always nice to see rappers express these emotion though you have the basic idea.just need to be alot more dercriptive and emotional...seeing as you like idyllic queen so much i suggest you read her pieces..you learn quite alot from her alone..expand your vocab..use some wordplay..i often wright about personal experiences because you have felt that emotion within which fuels the fire and give you inspiration..kinda like what eminem does!...anywayz keep wrighting..peep other pplz drops aswell see how you can improve! i hope you will find my comments useful