spoken

K settle down everyone. Grab yo popcorn, shove a big fuck off chair in front of yo
kids door, coz imma tell you a tale of Hardcore.

Rapped

Yo i was in my room as usual one friday afternoon/
Checking the TV guide “Hmm Simpsons is on soon”/
“O its that one again where Marge decides to leave Homer”/
“ive got tha video, So Ill just chill” within two seconds i had a Boner/
so i settled down put on that Old school masterbation sock/
In my mind, i had the keys to J-Los pantie lock/
Put it just wern’t the same, i decided i needed to get some visual aid/
Fumbled wid a cassette, but the lump had begun to fade/
Hey but when you got two Dykes feeling each other on yo moniter/
It won’t be soon till yo cock span, ranges from over a kilometre/
So i began again with the up and down movements slow 2 fast/
So as you can imagine aftyer 5 whole minutes had passed/
I needed to get some juice out my sacs make my urge go away/
“Erm” I murmed to myself, But then i heard a distinct “HEY!”/
Luckily the call was from downstairs it was the tone of my Dad/
“Matt theres a girl on the phone for you” i thought he must be going mad/

“Riiight, father u ain’t funny , please cut me some slack”/
“Matt, get yo ars here on the phone” The pranksta yelled back/
So i pulled up my pants, i supposed i had to give into this lame trick/
Ran down the stairs, grabbed the phone said “Bitch suck my dick”/
“Steady on big boy” a sexy voice came back through my earhole/
“We gotta do other shit 1st but i really like u n’all”/
“Its Debra from yo class at school meet me at the Jolly Crofters Pub”/
“U betta not set me up girl” “No way” N that was all it took/
I grabbed my coat and left the house, i suppose i wasbeing a bit hastey/
But Debra was Fit 2 fuck, And her huge Breasts looked tastey/
I took of up my street but my excitement was clear/
So i had to walk kind slow as the Pub sign got near/
I walked around the corner, expecting fantasys and Wet Dreeam to finally be
fulfilled/
But what i was saw was unexpected it was a meeting of the Gay Male Bodybuilders
Guild/
That firm lump in my trousers drooped and got ever so slightly thinner/
My legs got in2 action, then out came of my mouth, That evenings chicken dinner//