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Old 08-17-04, 05:42 PM   #16
Ca'lam
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From: Saint Louis
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Voted For: fluidmoon

good battle

fluidmoon - i was really feeling the flow of this.. i think it ended a lil to soon, i think you should of had a middle verse in there about his dad keeping a diary also.. like one entry from it.. but it was a good job nevertheless.. i liked how it eneded with his had writing in his suns journal.. that and the flow of your verse is what really won it for me..

magic - yours seemed realistic, as well as fluidmoons.. but i didnt really connect with it as much.. the words you sometimes used to rhyme with each other. rhymed, but they didnt.. i hope you know what i mean.. like eternity and entity dont really match up well, ya know ?.. you had imagery and everything.. was a decent verse.. but i felt fluid was on top of this topic pretty well..


if you get a chance, and see one of my battles any where, jsut drop a vote or w/e.. no pressure tho


props to both of you for a good topical battle
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