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I have a lot to learn...
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IP:
Fuck it… Im sick of my home, no reason I gotta stay fa this
“Crazy bitch” says my father; ragin, pissed, till he starts layin fists
Hands attack, Me n’ momz coppin the raised back handed slaps
At last ive had an idea, a way to escape from my bastard dad
Bags were packed, I was ready, Hopped out the window n’ onto the lawn
Lace my timbs tight, got on my bike, pushed up the block n’ im gone
1 year later
Me n’ some homeies hooked up… cross us, we leave ya blazed n spent
Fakin cheques, Hold ups n’ fraud… With no education, that’s how we pay the rent
Live in a shotty apartment but its my home… place is ill, so no runnin’
My boys told me we was outta green though, … n that we needed some mo money
Sunday night, aint no prob, one of them cats told me they found a place to rob
So we gon take the job… If we get caught, fuck it… just run, don’t face the cops
That night
All stuffed in a truck, we got there… But you wouldn’t belive what my luck brought
… pulled up… Got out the car… lifted my head up and saw my old front door
I was like “hold up… cant we go somewhere different?? This place is cheap looking”
Damn my bullshit cover… They replied “fuck nah … jus shut up n draw ya heat, pussy”
I didn’t wanna look like a coward… I was too little of a man to speak
I cant handle this… reminisce about old times, still loved my friends n family
But its happening, was too late ta talk, they already kicked in the door
My mama heard us come in… “whos there?”… “Shut up bitch, n get on the floor,
We robbin ya house, we armed n dangerous, so don’t move, n be quiet
Thinking bout callin the police? try it, n we’ll leave ya in the street, dyin….”
She was in a corner with a gat to her head, had ta move quick n to sneak
Didnt want her to know what id become… but still, she knew it was me…
I realized maybe all the times I wanted to come back, it would’ve been better
Cos me n mom always used to get by… even in the stormiest weather
She stood by me when my my heart was turning black, n hurt
But now she was crying... Because she knew I turned my back on her
But now I was kinda feelin raw to the guys, they were beatin her, n ignorin her cries
And the pain of their kicks couldn’t never amount to the pain I saw in her eyes
When she looked at me as if to say “I can believe you’ve forsaken me”
I became awake to see, that a thug is one thing that I hate to be
All the other cats we do this to, prolly dead or they domes mopin..
Depressed as shit, cos guys like us ruined em, leavin they home broken
So fuck this… I threw at G’s, as I socked my bro, the punch connected to the teeth
And as my “homies” pulled the trigger on me.. I realized how much I miss the way it used to be
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