There is a black guy, a mexican, and a white guy in the back of the car...whos drivin?

the cops ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did the mexican say when the house fell on him?

GET OFF ME HOMES
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How does a mexican say his vowels?

E-I-O-U-A
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Yo mama is like a hockey player she doesn't change her pad for three periods.

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What do vibraters and soybeans got in common?

they are both meat substitutes

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A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''

Confused, the bartender says no.

''Good!'' says the duck. ''Got any grapes?''

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