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.:The end meets beginning:.

The year is 2002, my life has gone to complete shit..
Me and a girl shared love, but than had to obsolete it..
I kept how i honestly felt a secret, I wished i was dead..
Didn't have it in me to leave hell, I pushed through it instead..
Months later, depression is my only friend, won't leave my side..
Than I start talkin to a girl who in her I feel i can confide..
It's my ex girls, ex best friend, how ironic is that..
shut out her helping hand, though I wanted it bad..
Hangin on by a thread, i put my trust on the line..
For the girl who I''d eventually love through turnin of time..
Emotions Blurrin My mind, I'm stuck searchin behind..
for the reason why I ever let my feelings get turned and entwined..

.:Reason to trust:.

Coming up empty handed, I open up to the girl that I'd love
Put all my faith in this woman, Instead of the God from Above..
We could talk about anything, as a best friend it was obvious..
our relationship was patented, one of a kind, no one could copy us..
But soon, it was evident, stronger feelings seems relevant..
But memories of a broken heart keep me from bein celebrant..
As time goes on, we get closer, emotions feel paralell..
Heaven is the only description, I'm forgettin, is there a hell..
But than she seems distant, we don't kick it, or even speak to eachother..
Memories start to surface, depression is back, and my bad feelings recovered..
Askin if things changed between us, she can't give me a straight reply..
Does she care about me, the worst feeling in the world is wondering why..

.:Feelings of opposite:.

A couple months later, she's claimin that she likes me again..
I had a girlfriend, and cheating always strikes me as sin..
But i didn't love this girl, and she had no problem livin without me..
so I take my chances with someone who gives a fuck about me..
The girl I had loved was broken up, was breakin under the pain..
she couldn't stand to see me without her, her face wasn't the same..
I saw a sadness in her eyes, But my regrets had consumed me..
I didn't want to take another chance of her makin a fool of me..
As time passes, feelings for her are developing, and mutual..
How could I pass her up when she cared, to me thats unusual..
We start getting closer, it's great, but I still have my doubts..
Knowing that the last time I loved her, we took two different routes..

.:Bad timing:.

Hangin out a lot, me and this girl just lay with eachother..
flirting all the time,laughing, as we play in the covers..
Inactive sexually, although our bodies yearned for the touch..
we're both nervous to make a move, so we turn to the dutch..
We finally make love, or atleast she had me convinced..
Told me she didn't want a relationship,Feelin mad as I winced..
Says she cares about me, but she thinks labels are stupid..
Feelin hurt I make a hitlist sayin "first dude is cupid"..
I'm paranoid, because of what I've been through before..
Feeling mad at this woman, than realized love was the whore..
To protect myself i tell my mind that my feelings are dead..
I fucked up by trustin this girl and lettin her into my head..

.:Mixed Feelings:.

She's getting distant again, i already know whats going to happen..
the small chance that I'm wrong is whats holdin me back from snappen..
I'd give the world to this girl, if I knew that she'd love me..
I can't shake my fear, the idea of losin her continues to bug me..
I'm giving it all I have trying to put my emotions to the side..
at the same time I try to hide how my heart starts to divide..
I have bad luck with love, it's like I was born with a curse..
Arguing whats worse, dying, or allowing me and her to dimmerse..
Knowin i don't have a choice, I express my agony through power of voice..
get her affection by writin her this piece, givin me reason to rejoice..
I don't understand, this chain of love gone wrong, why can't it bust..
I'm doomed to die young and alone, the single cause is anti-trust..