I thought this was nice, some decent lines and some constructive lines... I seen this concept done about a million times, I thought you used the rhyme scheme well and it come clear, some good rhythm involved and you showed through your multies... The wordplay was aight, sometimes a bit drastic, more metaphors woulda been iLL and given the spit something else... The vocab was down to point, and it was well used sometimes, othertimes none was used... It was solid throughout, keep spitting and elevating... This would prolly sound good in audio...

Peez...