started out a little weak, (so diss) but started to come together and the last 4 lines are money. Good looks. Work on adding depth to the beginning to catch her off gaurd right from jump. You dont want it to be just another poem for ya girl, something she compares to every other guy who tried that, or every other poem shes ever read. Make it some real talk from ya heart, and use mad wordplay to make her still love it the 25th time she reads it. But then again - dont lose her somewhere in there. Good luck with ya girl. 1

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