I just keyed this in...here goes...

It was last Wednesday, and I knew it when I awoke
The day was gonna be great, I won't even try to joke
First off was an occurence any man might adore
My penis was twice the size it was the night before
Reading the newspaper usually gets me cranky
But the Red Sox had won a series against the Yankees
Cash Money Records was crushed to one flattened piece
All that was left in the rubble were twelve platinum teeth
Then the doorbell rang, it was quite a mystery
A delivery of some new promotional discs for free
There must have been twenty CD's there I think
And the delivery girl? So fine I didn't dare to blink
I told her "I've got a package here you might try on for size...
Because the price of stamps isn't all that's on the rise"
We went inside to negotiate this special delivery
And to make sure it got sticky, she licked every bit of me
I thought to myself, "I'm getting laid then I'm gonna...
Go outside" What did I see, but a parade in my honor?
It was excellent, my brain started bubbling, fizzing
There were floats, marching bands, and juggling midgets
Just when I thought that it was the best in full...
I saw a float with giant paper mache spectacles
Then I met this other kid, who thought his day is cooler...
So I smacked him in the face and said "Fuck you Ferris Bueller!"