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Old 09-28-04, 05:14 PM   #13
schema
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Lucifer
Kustom is a rap reject, truth is that his lyrics really.. gotta go
cuz my words paint images that couldn't be thought by pacasso
ive heard this a million times...setup was blah and punch was played...
youll get destryoed, cuz in this bitch i'm the Real McCoy
Freshman couldnt get in the game, cuz he starts at waterboy
this was better...you still kinda have problems with your setup but the wordplay was pretty cool
This ain't a battle, it's a fuckin Scrimmage,
I never got a clear picture of your talent, but u claim to be a Kustum Image?
very nic...you stepped it up right here...some people will bitch about line length but it flows if you spit it...chamillionaire could spit it beautifully
I'm comin at you, and i'm full of hits,
you're like a stuffed up toilet man, you're full of shit?
wack...youre better than this...
so stop now, or you'll be disfigured like the elephant man,
the only way you'll Drop an album is if it fell out ya hands
drop/fell out of your hands wordplay is played...elephant man reference was decent...

i seemed hard on this verse but i dont see you as a noob i see you as a good middleweight and im grading you by those standards...it wasnt a terrible verse...you need to work on de-playing your punches...you dont have to have wordplay every time especially if you cant make it work...overall not terrible but not up to par...


~Ku$tUm-Im@gE~
Hes the leader of my crew and still cant ''beat-me''.... kids gay, stays runnin away from pussy like he's ''tweety''.... lucifer couldnt controll ''~Ku$tUm-Im@gE~ '' if he bought a box of ''wheatys''...1
let me start by telling you that your structure is annoying as fuck...seriously...second of all this was cool...the first third shouldve been left out though that was kinda gay you didnt need it...wheatys punch wouldve hit harder if you had worded it better...but the tweety punch was good

''hush-coward-after''....ya lose and i ''crush-battle-raptors''.... this kids gunna *''lose''~c~4* [lucifer] like bad ''rush-hour-actors''....2
hush coward after...ya lose...was completely unnessecary...you shouldve left it out and added another line...lose c-4 wordplay was ill...this was good although your bar lengths are starting to get really irregular...

leave this kid out to dry like ''wet-spoons''....he's a white rich kid who jams to ''prep-tunes''.... ima leave lucifer full of *clipse* like the ''neptunes''....3*
the end was cool...the beginning was wack to death...

im a show ya whack and open ya head to ''expose-ya-dome''....after this loss he'll be idolizing me like his ''posters-at-home''.... put a pistol to ya head to make u fell ''closer-ta-home-''....4*
didnt close the verse...just ended abruptly...i think you meant to add another bar....the beginning wasnt needed again...blah...decent...

overall your verse wasnt stellar but it was pretty good...you have problems trying to open a bar..all your bar openers were wack...also your structure was wack...writing like that is ok if you are going to spit it and youre just jotting it down but when you are text battling you need a defined structure written in lines with the rhyming words at the end...i give you the win here for harder hitting punches and ill wordplay...
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I got the lettuce and...
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Got the new hummer in the summer when I was a new comer then...
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