Newbie... * shakes head*
Im tired of seeing wack battles on here.. RB has died, so ima do a full break down.. do yourselfs a favor and read/take the advice..

The Break down

Jackmioff
the only thing you spitting is raw stupidity , retard literally
if you where ill then you where having a seizure with tiffany
your midget sister with a brain tumor, in bed watching felicity
Opening bar was ok.. Not that harder tho[b]

your ass so sore from flames, and your sexuality is in task,
same HH your homophobic your living at a parade at last
[b]ok... you started but didnt really finish any were, 2nd bar was decent..

you couldn't spit flames if you had oil in your mouth, muse
coming out of your tonsils and i got a match to blow you lose
ok set up.. no real punch tho.. meta ok..

like a gymnastic trainer your doing shit i your owner like zits
i pop you with some Clearasil and you evolve into my skin pits
lol fuckin i read that shit like 8 times 2nd line needs to be worded alot better

like a reptile your tongue is always open for the wrong causes//
you couldn’t be a man if your wife was miss clause//
ok, this was pretty ill.. up untill the end..

your heart pause like old farts you need a chair? sit down bitch and you can be relief//
pop out your teeth and member your a at a retirement home so i bring grief//
[b]ok..way weak punch...

alright, this verse needs alot of work.. first off see how the last three parts i quoted how i put // ya son you really need those..

To fucking hard to read..work more on your metaphors.
Try for more bars like the reptile part.. go for more directed punchs diss his name,location just make it personal....Work out your rhyme scheme, try writing bars instead of just a str8 verse(i mean its a battle not open mic) and better multis..

[b]spit_flames
Lyrically I murdered you, revived you, and killed u AGAIN/ Ya FEMININE like tears of TEN depressed WOMEN/
ok starter..pretty weak tho
Since I'm a GENTLEMEN/ I chose to let this lady go FIRST/ It's a shame when u gotta use spell CHECK to CORRECT ya VERSE/
ok already your rhymse shceme is off, weak punch for the first bar.. 2nd was an ok one

ya WORDS is old school like a ripped Hulk-a-mania SHIRT/ Somebody please get this NERD cuz I feel I'm bout to take FLIGHT/ I pick a FIGHT wit this "VESTITE" cuz he claimin he TIGHT/ first jab him with my left then follow through wit my RIGHT/ For ya LIGHTS it's GOODNITE/
really you need to work out the rhyme scheme.. after every bar hit return, then type.. The mulit in there was the only thing ok, the only other thing good was the first part.. rest was weak
LIKE somethin u say to ya KIDZ/ On ya momma I got first DIBBS rubbin n' lickin her TITTS/ My nickname should be SKID cuz I know I'm da SHIT/ I'm impossible to beat, just like half-inch DICKS/
the end was really playd.. weak over all..
And I'm tighter than half-inch CLITS with half-inch LIPS/
Now when my acid DRIPS, rappers seem to vanish-QUICK/
My name should be “wife beater” for the way I abused this BITCH!!!... the end was ok.. the better of your bars began and ended here..

over all, peep what i said about jack, it wouldnt hurt to follow some of that ish to....
Your metaphors need a little work, and your punchs do to.. You harder ish, i mean shit, diss the person! thats the basic point.. Your RHyme scheme needs mad work... so does your vocab. throwing in some mutlis wourld hurt..

vote= Spitten_Flames

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