View Single Post
Old 07-15-02, 04:27 AM   #9
rar one
The Tru Force Of Rap
 
Posts: 119
From: In Bed With Your Girls Mouth On My Dick
IP:

ok... theres way to much to exlain what Lil D needs to improve for fuck it.. LiL

you really need work on your rhyme scheme... your bars are way to short, try lengthing them up.. also add more disses/punchs in your verse... after that and vocab, itll become better..

Sunshine, it was decent for a verse.. Metaphors were alright, punchs were good... RHyme was ok.....

vote= sunshine

one
Send a message via Yahoo to rar one