listen to Dane concepts on how she spit-game..i must be playin hocky by the way these lables send checks to my frame/
Bad opner bar, dont talk about yourself in a battle.. Follow through was an ok meta.
sln, do what u do best, so get on ur kneez and do a good-job..but u aint eating Dane clit so u betta off slobbin on knobs/
weak punch
like Anna Kournikov, i saw you contemplating.. you know who ur facing? ur own inclination/
if i dont rip ur azz, dont worry some-body else will do it.. i'mma leave asasin azz lock'd in a box stuffed with embalming fluid/
first was ok.. 2nd was weak
you da type dat get caught and snitch cuz u cant do da time..scared to be another satistik of in-mates so u shytted out a dime/(snitched)
beating me? what is wrong with you..u aint outta ur mind, ur mind gotta be outta you/
ending was coulda been an alright set up..first part wasnt bad but needed to be worded better..
Dane smashes ur head-in with a po-po stick..even if ur ghost-writer wuz a english teacher when it comes to vocab u still want know shyt/
damn sln, just for being a joker..u get dat azz fold-up and thrown out like a game of poker/
begging was madly playd, and weak at that.. 2nded was just weak
and in-directly you punches dont effect me..even thou u got no luv fo da game, u gotta respect me/
if u wuz a cat i wouldnt give'ya nine tries..and every since i found talent in writing text, it means i found another way to kill rap guys/(like you sln)
weak..

you need accual diss in this verse..Work out your rhyme scheme some, make bars shorter... dont drag on.. try making set ups then follow throughs with bars.. Add some good vocab, and it might be decent..



Distinct Direction..Infectin Ya Shit...
You Would Think..She'd Spit A Sly Weapon..But I'm Wreckin Wit It..//
Rejectin Ya Spit..Emittin..Splittin Ya Disk..
From Spine To Orbit..Miss Dane Ain't ILL..She Should Jus Forfeit..//
damn sin.. this a way diffrent style then b4 for.. more audio, ish.. neways godo vocab.. no real dis, ending was ok punch..
I Spit Morbid..She Forced Wit..Tore..And Slit..
Slick..Shit Rippin Dis Dame Clit..//
Fuckin Wit Sin..Lemme Guess...Tryna Be Famous..??
Ya Spit Consecutive Lameness...Ms. Danna Becomin A Tamed Bitch...sIn punch in..Like Foreigner Language..//
[b] decent punch in there
Ya Fucked Quick..Stuck and slick...Dis Ain't a Game Of BIRDS..So Don't Be DUCKin this..Luck Ain't Shit..//
eh... ender was played
I divide Wit Linen...Decide Rhyme Lines..Da Damage I'm Sendin...Destroyin Yung Woman..Killin Dis Chick...//
I'm Explicit Wit It...Da Fifth'll Hit It..I'm Gifted..
When Liftin A Rhyme..Decline And Decide Upon A Time..//
ok
When You Die..I Remain Another Prophet..
I Hit You Quick..My Gun Revealed Constant..//
ender was ok..

aint feelin it sin.. Your left out good set ups for some punchs.. you lackd on alot of ya follow throughs..nota bad rhyme scheme, vocab was good..

vote= Sin,
came better over all, one or two harder bars took it

one