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Old 10-01-04, 08:31 AM   #5
Critic
Black Poet
 
Posts: 1,474
From: London
IP:

Yeah not to bad for your first drop, you need to sort out your structure
coz that killed your flow it looks like a story so its hard to read.

Try writting in barz thats two lines,
and make sure the last words rhyme

You get me haha^ Like that get this down and you will be droping some
heat soon if you need help holla @ me ma.

1~
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