hmmm
interesting for this being your first time id say it is half decent man,your imagery was there,u had some emotion in this...not bad and for this being your first time in all you did an okay job putting your poem into details.....hmmm but there is still alot to learn in this poetic game man...


things you must work on....put a little more emotions into ur pieces...and a tat bit more of imagery into ur work...overall thats itt man

keep practicing

decent job

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