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Old 10-09-04, 12:46 PM   #20
La Cosa Nostra
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Voted for CarsonJetX2.

Ok, for starters.. Deciple you had really stretched lines, fitted some good multies and vocab in there and I even noticed a tiny bit of wordplay. But your structure was really fucked because your lines were way too long. At times Id be reading a line quietly saying it and having to take a breath half way through it. Also you have to work on your punches, battles are all about the punchlines. Its all very well that something consistantly rhymes, but it needs to all lead up to something that the reader goes "huh" or "whoa".. Your lines seemed to just be consistantly dissing instead of throwing out dope punchlines. Basic way to say it, quality over quantity.

Carson. Your verse was solid. You had decent punches through it, and at one point which i know of, you actually did the opisite to deciple and had a line that was too short to flow, usually when this happens with text, its good to put ~ symbols between your words because they make the reader read slower for some reason. But your structure was a lot better and you used punchlines that worked good.

Overall, definatly wasnt the best battle Ive ever seen, but it definatly wasnt the worst.
Vote- CarsonjetX2....
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