^ Thats exactly what you need to work on, splitting the bars up is a minor thing, change the format... I think ya need to look at your rhyme scheme and come through, more multies and a sharper flow will make ya come more hard hitting... You lacced amounts of wordplay that shoulda been used, use punches to show what you got... Keep em coming though, you got the potential, aint feeling the concept of this, keep spitting and elevating...

Peez...