this was interesting in its own right, and scattered, i think, i understand the message that you were trying to portray, and i know you could have said it better, not that this lacked anything, content wise, but you could have said more, and filled in areas with your vocab....but i liked the "in your face" aspect of your poem....good, if you work on what i suggested, this will be great....1, just some feedback,,all friendly..

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*FluidMusic*


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