Dreams put into words make some of the illest pieces..i'd love to get in your head, Hazy..This piece had such a simple rhyme scheme yet still possessed all the qualitites of an excellent verse..You took a simple format and still managed to include mad imagery in it and transfer every detail from your own head into the readers..that says a lot about you as a writer..I think Varentao broke the piece down pretty well..As soon as i read the line about the deep blue eyes, i had a hunch that the little girl on the bench might have been you..
Anyway..very intriguing piece here hazy..only thing i could see done to possibly make it any better would be changing the title so the vampire thing is interpreted on its own..still ill as it is tho....much propz to ya mama...keep on keepin on..
peace gyrl.