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InSaNe KiLlAh
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IP:
Comments About The Top Five: With Smoka & Sdizzle
The Disciple vs. Efusive
SmokaJoka666 - The Disciple: You have alot of ideas for wordplay, but you have no wit in them. Thus, making your punches a bit weak...if you think of fresh concepts and try to come more consistent (with more punches) you would be able to do a verse good in this league. You need to drop the bolding and shorten your structure as well as even it out. Overall you could be one of the good heads here, but you do need to do some more homework with wit and concepts before you can reach a better level.
Sdizzle - Efusive: A good showing by efusive, although some of your punches lacked either creativity, or lacked decent subject material. also try to make your punches more personal, instead of having a punch that could be directed to anyone on the site. you should also consider making your structure a little more appealing to the eyes, and you could improve your chances in the league by a pretty good margin; overall you have alot of good potential.
Lyric vs. Scenario
SmokaJoka666 - Scenario: I saw alot of potential in your verse, but you still need alot of work to be able to be considered a top head on RV. Try to shorten your lines and think of a good punch in each line. Alot of them were just rhyming which is what really hurt you in the end. You need to think of witty fresh concepts, and hard punches if you want to be able to pull this next week off. I personally think you can do better and you should also believe you can do better.
Sdizzle - Lyric: You came very good last week, but your punches were worded as good as possible which took away from the effectiveness of your punches. also, it would hurt to make your rhyme scheme more difficult... intead of rhyming fig with sig, use larger more detailed, complicated words.. but try to stay away from sexual/gay jokes, as they are played out and are themselves "gay" as some may call it...overall pretty good shit.
Phantom vs. B.I.Detained
SmokaJoka666 - Phantom: Not too shabby of a verse from you, but it could've been much better I believe. You have good ideas for punches and you have some ok hits, but some of them are a bit played. But using played concepts is a good start to get on your way for fresh ones and thinking of harder hits so I won't hold it against you. You do need work on some of your personals, but that's not something that you alway need or will be able to put to use in a battle. Keep up the work and you'll be rising in the ranks ASAP.
Sdizzle - B.I.Detained: Right off the bat i can tell ur structure is a little iffy, so you want to change that... what the ext looks like is the least important thing, you definatly want to try to even the lines out a bit.... most of your lines were worded well, but here were a few that threw me off a little... i saw wit and creativity which is good, and most of your punches hit hard... overall very good job, so if you adjust that structure u should be on ur way to greatness in no time.
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