To make my life complete I've got a killer dream
I want to be just like an actor on the silver screen
So forget about Jim Carey, Steve Segal, and Jackie Chan
If I were Samuel L. Jackson, I would be a happy man
I would surely be a bad-ass, no one would ever test me
That's why they'd aske me time and time again to host the ESPY's
I'd have a fly glass cane, just like in "Unbreakable," kid
And sport a little Kangaroo upon my Kangol lid
In a trenchcoat, I would saunter, 'cause it would look right at last
I'd look like Shaft and not like your average high school psychopath
My new identity would sure enhance my fame of mind
I could grow a real afro and not the lame caucasian kind
If I wasn't the type of guy who would swear and curse, I'd start
Because when Samuel L. says "Motherfucker!" it's a work of art
Legal trouble wouldn't bother me, I'd never feel ashamed
I'd just hold some hostages, 'til Kevin Spacey cleared my name
When my underwater vessel was attacked and losing power
I wouldn't sweat that shit, man, I'd just take a fuckin' shower
Then when enemies attacked, I'd take a gun out of my holster
And pop some caps, assisted by my homeboy, John Travolta
But if you think that style's tasteless and it isn't the right flavor
I'd carve a path to victory using my fly purple light-saber

Samuel L. Jackson's Voice:
I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherfucker, motherfucker...
I'm superfly TNT...

Being Sam would be so cool, and I know it would be thrilling
To fly high above the city, saving folks from burning buildings
Then I'd invent a new vaccine to save the Earth from deadly bugs
And use my claws of adamantium to take down petty thugs
When cruising down the street, I'd have the phattest rides
I'd be the first recipient of the new Nobel "Bad-Ass" Prize
If evil surfer ninjas hatched a plot, then on their way to harm me...
I would manipulate the elements and I would conjur a tsunami
To foil their scheme; then I'd hold a carnival so we could have nightly fun
And I'd power the Tilt-A-Whirl with one breath from my mighty lungs
But I wouldn't just be full of hot air, I would use my hands some too
I'd fix the damaged the ozone layer with a shoe lace and some glue
Every Friday I'd go to the beach, my friends all coming with me
With a gesture I would part the sea to retrieve my sunken frisbee
I would never lose composure, always acting cool and patient
I wouldn't need a cell phone 'cause I'd use psychic communication
When I clenched my fist and stared, my enemies would cough and fall
I'd do those crazy-ass backflips you do by kicking off a wall
On my death bed, I'd be bad-ass 'til my corpse turned cold as stone
I'd keep my legacy alive by giving birth to my own clone
My days would not be boring, they'd always be packed with action
And that's why I aspire to be Samuel L. Jackson

Hope you enjoyed it.

Peace