posted in the wrong thread............

here the break down for this...

Ikynovel:

Good structure, i could really get a image on where you were coming on this nad how you worded it was ightt my favriot thing that stood out here was

"got a black bag, lack smokes, wish that i had
contemplating how the FUCK i'm stuck in rehab
so sad, mind wanders, what the hell am i to do
melt glass, see smoke pass, can i make it through"

that made me want to read more good topic and it was a well done topical..
godd work man



Conclusion:

same thing you did a decent job on this and some things stood out
and something were run on if you ask me not hate.
but your structure was alittle slopy and could use some work....
what stood out in your peice was this:

"A Young Women entered My Padded Cell..and Escorted me to a Room full of Blank Personality's ....
I was Trapped in a world Of My Daunting Fear's...I hesitated to get back to Reality..."

all right work from both men here but when it comes down to it Novel takes this due to a more visable peice and better structure on his part..
no hate just my opinion....

V/ IKYNOVEL