I don't really think that was a poem, but besides that it was okay. I did not like how you would continue the lines to the next line. Vocab is okay. Flow was pretty good. Overall, it was fairly good, but in the wrong sub-forum.

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rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp)
n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment.
^Don't forget the white man^
Poetic Scriptures poems:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462