Very good. I feel for you man. You had a lot to say. Very compacted. A bit unpolished, but that is okay. You were putting out thoughts as you thought of them. Only thing that could be improved is to make it longer and more thought out. I liked it. Good.
P.S. The avatar is distracting when I am getting into the poem.

__________________

rap4 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (rp)
n. Slang: A form of popular <a href="http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=music&v=56">music</a> developed especially in African-American urban communities and characterized by spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics with a syncopated, repetitive rhythmic accompaniment.
^Don't forget the white man^
Poetic Scriptures poems:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157364
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=157462