it seemd as if there were a few times where ya meant one thing but typed sum'n else....like in line #10 (you'll see what i mean)...i agree with critic... some of it seemed a bit forced at time but there were moments where the emotion of what you were tryna get out shined through:

If heartbreak is Payment 4 luv?
Then love is sumthin i truely can no longer Afford

that's a really good line with strong emotion in it...

Eventually my Heart and Trust will become Undestructable
But until that moment my Heart and Soul will Stay Untouchable

ok...the emotion was felt here and it was a good way to end the piece but ya had a lot of words prior to this ending with -able... it kinda took away from ya drop and made it seem "basic" as critic put it

lots of potential here... keep writing... it's the only way to get better

Peep the sig and return the favor...one