OFF~CENTER:


IS the joke? The Challenger is Dalyricalwhiz,
step to me and win? isnt that what a myrical-is?//

NOT TOO BAD OF AN OPENING,BUT REALLY DIDNT HIT HARD,NEED TO REMEMBER TO COME HARDER HERE,AND COME EITHER WITH AN EFFECTIVE PUNCH OR A GOOD HARD PERSONAL


The rhyme ripper gets reamed by my rap rhapsodies,*
rapidly wreapin weak rappers removin parodies//

OK,NOT TOO EFFECTIVE


Arrogantly, my verse is workin, the loss is lurkin,
DLW so desperate for ass, even his avatar is Jerkin!//*

HEHEH KINDA OF A DECENT PERSONAL ON HIS AVATAR BUT NOT TOO HARD HITTING


Think Ds goin gold-right w/ gold-writes cuz you usin bold-type,
And I fold-bites you got no style, break your mold-dyke!//

A LITTLE FORCED,NOT TOO EFFECTIVE


Used to be the former whiz? what happened Howser?
told him Id rip his ass and he dropped his trousers!//

AHHA ANOTHER FUNNY LINES HERE,SETUP I REALLY WASNT FEELING THOUGH,BUT COOL,PUNCH WOULD OF BEEN MORE EFFECTIVE IF SETUP WAS BETTER


Like Narc's-in-tents he used to have Dark-Intent,
But no more, now this loner battles a free agent//*

SHOULD OF BEEN REWORDED BETTER FOR A BETTER EFFECT,OTHERWISE OK



it must be tough, no one ever thinks of your verse highy,
only time a voter drops their jaw...is when they click on smily//*

I LIKED THIS,THIS WAS A NICE LINE COUPLET,I WAS FEELING IT


How is this competing with the Middleweight God?
hes only been in VVV once....and it was to suck Moneybags rod!//*

UMM OK SHIT,SHOULD OF BEEN REWORDED FOR A BETTER ENDING EFFECT,ALSO YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER COME HARD TOWARDS THE END


DALYRICALWHIZ:


im bout to off this beginner, often u spit bitter,
blend up ya purple pillz, yous a xtc drinker

OK WAY TO OPEN IT,BUT THE IMPACT WASNT EFFECTIVE,YOU SHOULD COME WITH EITHER A HARD HITTING PUNCH HERE OR A HARD PERSONAL



damage u amatuer, damn animal farm scriptures,
only dr. dolittle can translate ya wack lyrics

NO RHYME SCHEME HERE,THE SETUP DOESNT GO WELL WITH THE PUNCH,SO WASNT FEELING THIS


infact, u more pussy than a room full of kittens,
ya verbal attack is wack punches hitten soft, as if u was wearing mittens

UMM NOT FEELING THIS,REASON WHY,CAUSE IT WAS TOO STRETCHED,THE HITTEN SOFT AS IF U WAS WEARING MITTENS IS WHAT I MEAN,REWORD THAT IT WOULD OF BEEN SORTA EFFECTIVE


i smack u hard, like a bear claw, all in ya jaw,
off shaken n slurred similar to parkinsons

FILLER BOO AT YOU,NOT FEELING THIS


i got niggaz that steal cars, watch where u parkin-son
on sum grand-theft-auto shit snatchin u outta ya car

SETUP NOT GOING WELL WITH THE PUNCH,VERY BASIC SIMPLE SHIT,NOT FEELING IT


off center, fake thug, yous an off killa, a kit kat, a four bar spitter
u more wacker than virgin wit blue ballz jackin off at a masterbation center

AGAIN SETUP DOESNT GO WELL WITH YOUR PUNCH HERE,NOT REALLY FEELING IT,ALSO IT WAS A LITTLE FORCED


im past beginner off sinner, ya wack trash i burn it-you've earned it-cremate ya mass now ya nickname-urnest-
for-certain, u couldn't be hot on the mic, if the studio was burnin
or more elevated, if u spit off top a building with 30 stories

NOT FEELING THIS EITHER,NO GOOD RHYME SCHEME HERE,SOME LINES WERE STRETCHED,NO HARD HITTING PUNCH EITHER,YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER IF YOU WANT TO GET BETTER IS TO,COME STRONG HERE,MAKE THE READER LOVE YOUR SHIT..


BOTH VERSES WERE COOL,BUT I FELT OFF~CENTER EDGED THIS WITH A LITTLE MORE OF AN ATTACK,DALYRICALWHIZ HAD OK SHIT,SOME BASIC AND SOME WASNT FEELING,SOME OF IT DIDNT MAKE SOME SENCE,BUT ALSO WAS COOL,I FELT YOU BOTH NEED TO EXCELL ON YOUR SETUP PUNCH COMBOS,BE MORE CREATIVE,COME HARDER ALSO,AND MIX IT IN WITH SOME WORDPLAY,VISUALS AS WELL GOOD SPITS


VOTE OFF~CENTER