heh aight i didnt understand what you were trying to get at...you had nice multis but i dont understand where the direction was going, u need to create a clearer picture dawgz...

an you should match barz...

Collabaration of the 2 biggest fources //
Swiftly serge like bedouins with their horses //
Unpredictable dark egotistical sources //
Anilation in their hearts - 2 vengful fources //
Prey and attack on the weak and fourceless //
Facade what the truth lies, Deafeat the remourceless //

^^^Thats 6 lines with the ryhme words then u end it with 2 diffrent ryming lines...i would try to even up a little the barz...its sounds more attractive that way

Ya strength lie in mulits the lines did flow u just need a little work to get out of your funk...try listening to ya favorite rapper an get some inspiration aight dawgs

ONE

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http://community.rapverse.com/showbattlethread.php?t=160715