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This wasn't very good there was hardly any rhymes the flow was basic structure unstable punches lacked...perhaps some emotion but it seemed like you were just speaking...3.5/10 you need to up that layout and add more rhymes...RTF on my open mic plz
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work on ur spelling.i forced my self to finish reading this piece.spelling is discouraging.
ur rhyme scheme needs improvement.first line doesn't fit in at all.
emotion was there and after reading this twice i kinda get how u want me to see it.
if u want feed bak fix it up.make it easier to read.nobody wants to struggle to read.
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damm it aint no battle it dont need punchs i aint dissin any it was jus a free tha top of mah head next time i wont post any thing damm but thankx for tha feed back aight ill check your shit out let me critsize your shit see how you like it it was only a free didnt realy wont feed back but if you didnt like it why give feed back cat allwayz wonna bring me down well fuck all yall an by tha way ahm disslexic if you didnt notice thas why mah spellin aint to good but i try but ye smash me down its aight