Man this structures different to anything i've witnessed...lemme break it down...
Dirty south that’s where iam reppin , u be walking in the club but watch where u steppin
/\ good beginning nice intro
Got an drink in yo hand watch what u spillin , looking at an girl but watch what ur eyes lookin
/\ nice bar
A club is like an playground for thugs , start an problem and get yo body smelling like armpit musk
One fist be swong and things get erupt , niggas don’t need an gun to start shit get them bottles throwed up
/\ Nice bar feelin the rhyming
U can catch me smoking an blaunt , my eyes be daz, go to sleep with my eyes in the back of my head
Don’t mess with a niggas while he getting high , he’ll point that pistol out , u’ll have an dot on yo head
/\ Word nice rhyme there flows good
Bitches getting push on the floor get there nails broken then u’ll hear an shout-OH HELL NO U DIDN’T
that’s when the cat fight erupts , bitches get bitch slapp , get there face scratch lip get bloody……… split
/\ can't see a rhyme here but i see a slight rhyme in didn't and split...but only slight
When my niggas get into fights anything goes , we can do it by throwing dem slugs on the dance floor
Or get some pocket knifes , get stuck , get rush , take some blow’s to the ab leave that nigga paralyze on the flo
/\ different way to rhyme there...feelin it though
See me I don’t worry about dem niggas cause I be at the higher level getting an free lap dance in the v.I.p.
/\ no real rhyme connection here
Bitch stroking her ass on my dick , drinking an vokah mixx with rum, catch an head sprung on my dick~!
Go the lower level everything calmed down , out the door I go with an stripper bitch getting me an free lic
Put her in my car , we ride down on the 95 highway , she sucking my dick all wrong OUT THE CAR U GO BITCH~!
/\ Dope closer here nice
Overall
This was a unique piece the rhyming is...well...different but cool but the structure it held i feel let you slip on a couple of lines rhyme wise flowed well but structure stretched ya need to work on that...and a bit of vocab advice...A & AN are used this way...A Girl, A patch etc...if ur gonna use AN it has to be before a vowel (A, E, I. O, U) An Apple, An Orange, An Oscar award...you use A before a constantant remember that it'll up ya vocab coz u only use An and it fucks up the vocab coz it's not always in the right place...i'd give this a 7/10 it was a good club piece...nice drop
