CHRYMESINDICATE
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IP:
Voted For: (x) CeEd
my vote has to go to (x) CeEd..... nice verse here buddy
(x) CeEd
flow was wack....... work on that shit man... get you bars to sound even and try reading your shit outloud.... if it sounds good..... drop it.... if it souds wack.... reword it....
Structure..... bars were structured pretty nicely... fairly even..... few stretched bars but only to deliver good points so structure was pretty tidy
Vocab...... vocab wasnt bad at all..... your rhyming words were all multi syllabled and it gave the verse a feeling of professionalism
i liked your break down section.... where you broke it down and got some mad multis going...
to see Bush'es alone type Democracy
he plays wit' Warheads like a Mockery
He said "America all lives by Honesty"
I'd rather be president he lacks the quality
^^^^ that part was nice...
i liked how you put some shit like... the TV reporters speaking the news in it... that shit is pretty creative man so good job with this verse
jmsbnd07655
ok..... this is a topikal..... first line was a good opener...
then the second line... where you wrote.."Im writing these lyrics"
dont use that shit man!!!!!!
structure..... was good, bars all pretty even, there were a few that were stretched.. but overall it was ok
flow was fucked up, bars just didnt sound write while i was reading it....so work on that
Vocab abd rhymes.... newbish..... to much simple rhyming schemes..... shit like..... bloods..thugs... night...right... shits to simple man
multies..... there wernt many... and the places you did have them.... mad it sound fucked up due to your wack flow..... most of your rhymes were forced..... ELEVATE!! nuff said
vote (x) CeEd
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CrhymeSindicate
'Till Death
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nostradamus
Your really dope though.. 
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