Aiight.. Indepth, You have a kind of weird writing style thats really hard to pick up flow on at times.. But the factual nature of your peice really worked well to give me an image in my head. Wasnt bad at all actually. Only other thing I sort of had a problem with was how you cut off your verse half way through, and the rhyming sort of didnt seem to come to an end.. Instead it sort of sounded forced..

DrasticMeasurez, Well I can tell you having been writing topicals for that long brutha, but it wasnt a bad effort.. Main problems and things to work on would be your flow more than anything.. The lines were really badly stretched with only one rhyming word at the end of the line.. And also staying on topic.. I really didnt get where you were going once you flipped over to the second paragraph.. It was like you were starting a new story or something..

Im gonna give this vote to Indepth. For IMO a better representation of the topic.

Peace.

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RIP jono, peace out bboy.
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