Voted For: MetaSkriptz

vote... MetaSkriptz

(x) CeEd..................

Well thats wat they say, but forgettin all the needy,,
while all the other s bury into their gifts bein so greedy
^^^^pretty weak start......
without thinkin wat bout the others on earth,,,,
Xmas is bout love not gifts or a new shirt
^^^^very force rhyme..... dont like it
many familes come together and join as one.....
^^^^thats pretty good.... gives some emotions to this
ON the eve of Christmas they go for shoppin
heartless while lookin at the poor ones coughin
^^^^NO....... keep all your shit as one... dont have all these smaller verses of two lines then have the last five sperated from the rest... have them all together
lookin at the bright side kids finally hope for their wishlist
But think of the needy just 2 be alive for Christmas
^^^^second line... proof read your shit dammit.... you just through away a line for that speeling crap...
I will always love the 25th and live it forever
but Christmas is not bout gifts its bout, love please remember
^^^^closer could have been done better......
(x) CeEd..... I dont think topikal is really you..... one major thing though... work on your damn spelling.... some verses that are horribly spelt.... wont even get read... nuff said

MetaSkriptz.............

good solid verse here....
i awoke an with a quick stroke an thrust to the window i arise..
the tree prevokes the presents i look outside the sun an snow blinds my eyes..
^^^good opener..... simple but very effective rhyme scheme
thoughts an images provide what santa may have broughtin..
action figures cops an open range villages oh jee what have i gottin..
^^^didnt really rhyme..... but it was a pretty good line
omega trains b52 stealth bomber planes sweets in bundles excluding candycains..
^^^good use of multies.....
only one present left i hold my breath hoping its my new snow sled...
25 days for this present i pled i open an to shock its a ps2 game instead..
with a sigh a tear trickles into my eye i say "wow cool"ina struggle..
my mom with a solem smirk says theirs one more very suddle...
to the room an under the bed she led wraped in a bow of red..my new sled
^^^very nice closer..... some good thought gone into this verse... rhyming was all pretty good... voacb... short but well used.... yeah overall i liked it...

vote MetaSkriptz

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CrhymeSindicate

'Till Death