Your vocals are real echoey, that's a bad thing usually, are you using echo or reverb? If you are usin Cool Edit then using Tight and Close is the best setting, I make my vocals more dry then wet for presence. Your flow is off, you got potential though, you need to read up on rhyme schemes and stuff. Make each bar like 10-15 syllables and ride the snare, think of the beat like this ------*---------* <-----That's one line, the asterisk is a snare, try to hit a rhyme on a each snare, or at least the ending snare, hope it helps, read about inner and outer rhymes to. Decent track, but it could be better, peace!

-Tactics