This is obviously one of the more elite open mics that have been posted recently.
Your ideas were well thought through, and you managed to put them down in context properly, resulting in good imagery and concept development.
You also put the key element of some emotion into it making it an even more exceptional piece.
Your flow and structure, well pretty close to flawless, which makes it a nice read.
And you didn't overload your om with tight vocab the whole way through which makes it nice, because you had an even balance, good job.

9.9/10 LoL just because everyone always gets angry when they're so close.