Voted For: d-cËpt!0n

Ok, this is the better verse.

In a topical battle, structure, vocab and idea conception and delivering your thoughts played out with imagery are key components in a topical battle.

Now this topical was ok, but I would advise you to remove your "//". They're really not that necassary. It might help you catch your beats or what ever, but if you absoloutley need them, put them in while your writing, than remove them when your finished.

Your overall idea was quite, scrambled really. I assume your talking about the apocalypse. Well it's a good idea, but you should definetly stay on topic the whole time.

Within like 12 lines, you have not only gone through the apocalypse but renewed from it.

Xcell, dont' type in all caps it's incredibly annoying. Work on your structure, by working your structure you improve your flow, and that's a key aspect in everything. Get some grade. 6 + vocab, and please, try to make it rhyme.

Vote-d-cËpt!0n