wow man..you're improving at an alarming rate..
your flow,vocab,and multis also..I actually enjoyed this very much..
the true story means you're writing from the heart..
this almost seems like Luther Vandros song "Dance with my father"
but alot less gay, I loved how you expressed your feelings
without sounding like a strait dumbass or soft cake..good job
I think raings are pointless now,I stopped using them
since your last crit

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