Voted For: final
Final:
Your piece was pretty good.. It started off solid.. and the first 2 bars were your best bars of the battle.. and thats what you need.. make the opening lines good and you got the reader hooked.. wordplay was good.. structure could have been better as could vocab.. decent emotion but i didnt see much depth in it until the last couple bars.. you didnt really go deeper into the subject.. you more or less described what energy was.. which wasnt a bad way to go either...
overall : 8.7/10
Premanition:
dope piece also.. you had better vocab, but the emotion wasnt there for the whole first half of the verse.. and in a topical emotion makes the piece better.. no wordplay but u didnt really need it because your vocab made up for that.. you came more deep than final.. but the 2 biggest things i had with your verse was... the opening didnt grasp my attention, after the first couple bars i didnt even want to read it anymore.. but it got a lil better as u went foward... 2nd thing was the switch in your verse..you went from a discription piece to a vivid piece out of nowhere.. you didnt give any sign that the consistency of the desciption part of the verse was going to change.. so i kinda didnt understand when the kid woke up.. i was thinking where did that come from.. but i read again and understood it a bit better
overall :7.2/10
vote: final
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=171392
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE return the favor with an honest vote on this battle