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1926
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IP:
Its Pretty Off Mayn...
Leeeeeets Start With The Ovious Stuff...
You Should Prolly Work On Using Multies More...
And Concetrate On That More Then Tryna Use Big Words...
Cuz I Dont Even Think You Knew Half Those Words...
You Structure Could Use Some Polishing...
You Just Have A Giant Mass Of Text...
Try To Break It Up Into Like Verses Of 10 Lines Each...
And Throw In A Chorus Or Something To Give The Reader A Break...
Thats Really All I Can Critique...
Cuz This Wasnt A Deep Piece, It Was Like A Rep Track...
Maybe Throw Stronger Punches And Wordplay In...
Since You're Tryna Rep Your Skill...
But Ya, Thats It...
Stay Up And Keep Elevating...
.One.
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