Reality
Abandoned by my father,mom couldn't cope on her own
So by the age of fifteen I was forced to already act fully grown
Was working hard to protect the only woman in my miserable life
Tried to stay on right track but soul got attracted to the knife
Slowly went into the wrong direction,the open wounds of rejection
By the stranger I share my DNA with because of natural selection
Hustling to get food on the table,not thinking bout any decision
Dangerous collision of hatred n insecurity created blurred vision
But then suddenly the fog started rising as I looked in her eyes
The tears she disguised,her heart's been ripped apart by my lies
So I gazed within my core to discover what way I saw myself going
Started seeking for new thrill which I eventually found in flowing
Change
Addicted to the beat,straight spittin bout issues of the street
On hip hop I relied,keeping my head up high even after a defeat
Following right path again with this music as a passionate drive
No joking around though,had to get my name out there to survive
Sending around demos,desperately yearning for this one phone call
Or long awaited letter with news that could make me climb or fall
Kept reaching for the only definite escape out of this living hell
Approachin heaven but little did I know that I had to say farewell
To my old lifestyle,to the warm nest my mother worked so hard on
New world opened,filled with wealth,our poverty was suddenly gone
Heaven/Hell
Never could've imagined that the price to pay was gonna be this high
Entire life and being turned upside down,all in the blink of an eye
Jealousy and envy destroying the most profound friendship i ever had
Funny how life goes,look where I am now due to a pen and writing pad
But it's not what I thought it'd be,rap scene's never been so hostile
And as I see my momma's fake smile,I wonder if this is all worthwile
Because the loads of money don't solve the problems that lie beneath
No more respect in the hip hop game but I keep quiet n grit my teeth
Maybe I have been naive to believe I was approaching heaven's gates
Continue for my mother's sake although I'm caught up in dire straits
But heaven is just a foolish illusion created as a reason for dreams
That get shattered anyway because nothing is ever what it seems
DQ