your first verse was to simple and not reall stuctured good but it flowed well and the rest of your lines were good, good stucture n shit..but for the whole verses all them they were pretty good, good vocabulary and metas seen a few in there good creativty and imagery just a pretty good topic stayed on it well and jsut came out good...try making a chorus in there give it some touch..ight...but yea good verse but try using more vocab to make it define more and use more emotion then you did not to much emotion...pz

check my OM's in the sig...ight try both please thanks..pz