Voted For: shadow

I putted an note in your locker, saying I was your secret admire
I’d emit all my feelings to you in that letter ,also added an flower
Your man doesn’t appreciates you, he don’t give you what you desire
He treated you like an puppet under his strings, it was like love for hire
Seeing you in the beautiful dress, god, You was like an rare diamond
Seeing you standing there where I arrange a meeting for you to see my body
Your eyes looking at the beautiful sighting, then appeared another human
You smiled at him, thinking he did this for you, my anger went to fumes
You kissed him. I ran down the road, my tears weeping, with an lost soul
I was hoping me and you can be together, all this time it was just an false hope

mista-- I think your grammar is horrible... No hate at all, but "putted" "an" before words that start w/ consonants... all that shit adds up, and gets real irritating to have to re-write in my head... I think you had a good path on this topic too, but your writing mis-cues really take alot away from your verse....

Shadow- Not bad at all, I kind of expected a little bit more fluidity to your verse- but the story and rhymes flowed well enough I think to win you this... your verse really reminded me of being a teen-ager for some reason... good shit... Vote shadow.

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